Let’s play a game.
At this time of year children are writing their Chrismtas wish lists, and letting us know in no uncertain terms what they want ‘SANTA’ to bring them for Christmas.
Adults are beginning to think about the realistic, adult version of this very same thing but calling it New Years resolutions, because as adults we know that Santa does not exist and we have to realistically figure out how to get these things ourselves.
(sorry if I just burst anyone’s bubble – but it is just for effect – SANTA IS REALLY REAL! We can debate it later.)
I have been asking various people what they really want for Christmas this year or what they think Santa will bring them…
All the answers, so far, have been either uncertain or bland. So I got to thinking about why adults can’t voice what they really really desire.
Because they don’t know – or they think they don’t know.
I have come up with a game to demonstrate a learning I have had recently…
Tick any of these that apply to you.
1. I want to be thinner
2. I want to have more money
3. I want to be successful
4. I want to have more qualifications
5. I want to be younger
6. I want to be fitter
7. I want to have my own house
8. I want to have more clients
9. I want to be in better physical shape
10. I want to do more good in the world
11. I want to have a better relationship
12. I want a relationship with my ideal partner
13. I want better health
14. I want a promotion at work
15. I want to travel
16. I want to change my life
17. I want a tidy house
18. I want a family
19. I want a new (insert thing you want)
* Now add up how many you ticked and score 2 points for each.
* What’s your number? Remember it – we will come back to it later.
I am going to reframe this list for you – read through it and see how many feel true for you.
1. I am not thin enough
2. I am not rich enough
3. I am not successful enough
4. I am not smart enough
5. I am too old
6. I am not fit enough
7. I am not safe enough
8. I am not in demand enough
9. I am not attractive enough
10. I am not useful enough
11. I am not loved enough
12. I am not enough
13. I am not healthy enough
14. I am not ranked highly enough
15. I am not free enough
16. I am not happy enough
17. I am not organised enough
18. I am lonely
19. I am not prosperous enough
* Now go back through the ones that you ticked in the first list and see if they correspond to the phrasing of the second. It will require you to be deep down honest about it.
See what resonates for you or hits a tender spot…
The point of this game is NOT to bring you to a self critical, navel gazing, pity party. It is to highlight that the thing you think is a desire (want) may actually be coming from a mindset and heart feeling of LACK.
And there is a huge frikkin difference between lack and desire. The difference of actually seeing and living a fully rich life.
And I mean rich in the sense of fulfilled, prosperous, creative, alive, vibrant and loved.
The reason I am bringing this up is because I see a trail of disillusioned people who have bought into the name it claim it, manifest your dreams by writing about it all the time, if you want it bad enough it will be yours, if you were just vibrating at a higher frequency you could align to everything you want… etc etc. But have still not seen their dreams come true or their pot of gold materialise.
I am not poo pooing all of the above beliefs and methods for bringing your dreams to life. Not in the slightest – heck I truly believe and use many of them.
But I am getting annoyed at the steadily growing list of people I know and love who are becoming disillusioned with the whole manifest, believe and have methods, because they are not seeing it work for them – ONLY then to be made to feel by the so called ‘self help guru’s’ that they must be
out of alignment,
not persistent enough,
don’t have enough faith,
not magical enough,
not doing the methods the ‘correct’ ways or
just need to persevere a bit longer (and keep paying them money to learn more!)
AND again there is that ‘NOT ENOUGH’ list highlighting all that is lacking rather than drawing out the desire and dreams of the heart and soul.
For goodness sake – all the messages, media and conversations that surround us these days compound the belief that we are not good enough and should have more, do more and be more to FIT IN.
And that is the difference right there.
The belief that we need to FIT IN and perform in society as everyone else does. This in turn brings feelings that we are missing something and instead of looking within to check our internal compass and navigate according to our soul map – we look outside of us and map our wants according to what seems to be the accepted reality and paradigm.
We build from that outward perception or list of wants. Perceiving that if we just had that particular thing in our life we would be fulfilled. However beneath all our wants are our heart felt burning desires.
The real reasons that we want those things.
The soul longing that is calling out to be heard and acknowledged but our conscious minds have been conditioned to perceive the world in such a limited way that we attach those longings to what is apparent and acceptable only.
When we give ourselves the opportunity to look deeper into our wants, to acknowledge the feelings of not enough that are present and delve into the burning desires that are simmering under the surface, waiting to be ignited by the realisation that we are worthy, valuable and magnificent. We discover that we already have all we need and there is no PUSH, struggle or lack – just opportunities to realise and establish our dreams into our reality.
Remember I asked you to score how many points you got from the ticks on the first list?
How many points did you score from the first list?
Well that’s great – but there was no purpose at all for tallying up your points other than to show that in life we are constantly scoring ourselves against things that are completely irrelevant to the dreams we are storing away inside us.
It only leads to comparison, jealousy, self doubt and an endless cycle of failure fatigue or stress.
Until such time as you connect to and get crystal clear on what your burning soul desires are - just for a moment at least:
STOP doing all the fancy spiritual sorcery to try and create the wants
STOP running around looking for the next solution to your problems
STOP moping about what is missing from your life and stressing about HOW to get your hands on it
STOP scoring yourself against other peoples’ games and rules
STOP ignoring what your heart and soul have been trying to tell you for a very very long time.
You will be surprised what will surface when you finally STOP and allow YOU to come through.
Actually you won’t be surprised at all.
It will be more of a ‘OH, I knew that, why have I ignored it for so long!’
Because your true desires and dreams will always be what you have taken for granted and assumed to be just you being you.
SO quick little recap to remind you the short version of getting your desire list to Santa on time… If the things you want in your life are based on a feeling of LACK – you will always struggle and have to PUSH to achieve them.
- Your internal compass and map are the way to get to know your desires.
(More on that tomorrow because it is a WHOLE other blog post with much words!)
- STOP listening to, running around after and following other peoples desires – they are not yours! Play your own game, set your own rules
- You are already more than enough to achieve, accomplish and create what is burning in your soul to be.
That right there is THE best game you can play this time of the year as you ponder your Christmas list or New years resolutions!