One thing that's worse than haters...

We have all had them in one way, shape or form.

Whether we have a public profile or just within our work and social circles.

HATERS.

People that just don’t like us.

People that don’t like what we stand for.

People that don’t like the way we do things.

AND have to let us and most everyone else know about it.

The haters that tend to get noticed are the loud ones that HAVE to have their opinion heard and push hard to try and shift you from your position.

But there are also the subversive haters.

Maybe they are not outright nasty, but have an undercurrent of snidy, push back against us kind of energy, that lets you know that they disagree with you and will NEVER come round to your way of thinking, believing and doing things.

We are told to not worry about the haters because they are never going to be our BFFs and they are entitled to their opinions anyway.

And we can often try and convince ourselves that these haters don’t matter, or explain away their opinions but they do affect us. Whether by drawing our attention towards their hate or by causing us to withdraw into ourselves to protect ourselves.

There force of reaction towards us creates a reaction in us that shifts us, even if it is just in a small way – it creates motion and exchange of energy.

Which while not necessarily pleasant is still energy.

What is worse than that energy from an exchange or reaction of haters is…

APATHY!

Noun:

lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

synonyms

indifference, lack of interest, lack of enthusiasm, lack of concern, unconcern, uninterestedness, unresponsiveness, impassivity, passivity, passiveness, detachment, dispassion, dispassionateness, lack of involvement, phlegm, coolness;

listlessness, lethargy, languor, lassitude, torpor;

boredom, mopery

The nothingness of apathy.

The tumbleweed of no response.

The gaping void of not caring.

The quiet death of no reaction to energy output.

AAAARGH – one thing I can’t abide is lack of energy.

Yes I understand rest and recovery and needing to sleep.

To me these are still active states of growth and forward motion because they are the yin to the yang of activity and responsiveness.

But to live in a constant state of apathy,

to keep oneself safe from reaction and conflict,

to be consistently mediocre in an attempt to please everyone,

to constantly explain away and excuse behaviours that go against our core beliefs because we don’t want to rock the boat,

to let everything just wash off our backs and pass us by,

That is to exist while slowly dying.

Apathy is a method I engaged in my teenage years to keep me safe from sticking out and being different, embarrassing myself, or feeling hurt from caring too much.

And when I look back on those years, I regret the time I wasted trying to stay safe and avoid confrontation.

All that gorgeous young energy wasted on being mediocre and nice!

Life is growth.

Growth is change.

Change is uncomfortable and often scary because it is unknown.

So I can understand why I often employed the “I don’t care’ stance in many situations.

Too often the desire for safety and security manifests as apathy.

Which may seem like a beneficial way to live life.

Because we are raising a family, establishing a business, helping elderly parents, remaining on good terms within our social circles – we choose to keep the status quo and grow apathetic to what really matters to us.

And even lose sight of what really matters to us, what lights us up, what creates energy and forward motion towards our hearts desires in this life.

That is where apathy can creep in – when we feel like we are no longer in charge of living our life.

When we have given over our control, time, attention to things that don’t really light us up. We can begin to become apathetic to life because to face the truth would mean feeling the loss, annoyance, frustration, grief, anger and potentially rocking the seemingly stable boat of our established lives.

But what happens when you suddenly get to a point of looking back and wondering

why you didn’t speak up sooner,

why you put up with certain situations at all,

why you gave up your power and core values for others…

What will it take for you to get to that point?

A life lived keeping others happy, only to have them turn around and tell you they don’t need or want you to keep meddling in their lives.

A life lived giving time and attention to others only to receive no thanks or appreciation.

A life lived not rocking the boat, only to be tipped out anyway because you are suddenly deemed useless, not attractive enough, or to make space for something or someone else?

How does one then live a life that is true to ones own power and core values and still create community, family and impact in this world?

By caring enough for yourself first that you choose what makes you come alive, truly alive, and set boundaries around those choices.

Now that requires determination, energy and engaging with life and all it brings.

What do you really care about in this life and how can you make yourself the best you to be able to engage with that thing with honesty, courage and action?

If you have a friend who you needs to hear this message today, go on, give some more, and share it with them!

bit.ly/yourbodyyourchoice